Friday, June 19, 2015


June 18. L.A. airport. Saying goodbye. My birthday gift.

“It wasn´t supposed to make you cry,” Joshua says. 

“It can be good to cry, Josh,” I reply, “these are not sad tears.”

I hold the notebook in my hands, turning the pages with incredulity. They remind me…of how God works, of His endless depth, of His heart-stirring call to a simple girl.

The notebook filled with reminders is an amazing gift. Likewise, the boy who gave me the notebook is also an amazing reminder from God—a reminder who brings joy to my existence and talks to me.

God knows I am forgetful and weak. I need reminders. Without them I will waste hours and days and years pursuing goals that get me no closer to lasting happiness. 

Where might I be without reminders?  Without a mother who prays for me, without friends who show me grace, without my Bible waiting at my bedside? Where might I be without kindred spirits who send me messages saying that they are praying that I will draw closer to Jesus´ heart this year than ever before? 

In life the stakes are high, but I forget. The Love is deep, but I turn from it. The God of my soul surrounds me, but I am blinded.

He sends me reminders in many shapes and sizes. Some of them I recognize and they make me cry at His goodness.

I close the notebook…fully re-minded.

“…but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”  

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Can´t Wait

Time. I perceive it differently now. Every time his silver Honda disappears from view, time takes on new dimensions, a new edge. I can´t wait!

I can´t wait until the next time I get to see his smile or hear his familiar greetings over the phone. I suppose it´s a common enough type of anticipation felt by couples in the courtship phase of life. However common it may be, it is richly significant.  

It was this slight ache of anticipation one day that caused me to glance upward and ask, “How in the world do you do it, Father God? How can you possibly bear the centuries-long ache of waiting to embrace us and have us nearby?” 

If, after all, I find it difficult to wait a few days to see the boy who is winning my heart, what must be the depth of anxiousness that God feels towards several billion dear ones who He passionately loves and longs to dwell with? How must it feel for our God to be perpetually consumed with the intense feeling of “I can´t wait?” 

God´s response intrigued me.

“You´re right,” He said. “I can´t wait in a way that is far beyond your mind´s grasp. But one thing is better than being tangibly and visibly with you. One thing makes the wait bearable.”

“What would that be, Father God?”

“Being with your spirit. Communing with you heart to heart. I´d rather have this kind of closeness any day. Closer than close. Sure, I dream of embracing you, but until then I just want to dwell in your heart. And one day…I´ll have you nearby in every sense of the word. Truly, dear one, I know how you feel. I can´t wait.”