The Loudest

I linger in my car for a moment before heading into the courthouse. The sun is bright, but the wind is biting cold. It´s a typical winter work day in Humboldt until…

My cellphone vibrates on the seat next to me. A text message. It reads:

I just wanted to make you aware that I really appreciate you!! Te amo muito, beijinhos :-) 

I smile at the sweetness of the message from Eurides (my brother´s new bride of a little over 3 months).  I open my car door and realize that I almost feel like crying, happy tears. It´s so warming to know that you are loved. I spend the day wishing that everyone in the world could receive a text message like that one.

It meant more to me than to most, evidently. I´m a word person. I like words. I cherish sincere things that people have taken the time to articulate.

Interestingly, though, I´ve begun to appreciate a new kind of expression—the absence of words, or, to put it simply, silence. One day as I lay on my back in the grass, I envisioned the cross. The cross with a heaving man nailed to its frame. The whole saga, His entire earthly sojourn, was in reality an endless line of desperate “I love you(s)” springing forth from a heart in love. And the cross was the epitome. The cross was the loudest “I LOVE YOU” ever not spoken.   

He didn´t utter those three words from that cross. He didn´t have to. Each trickle of blood was an expression of love. Each bruise was His passionate desire for you. Each painful breath was a piece of joy that He dreamt of giving to His beloved. His outstretched arms were His longing to hold you. His distraught eyes quietly begged the question “Is there anything else I can do to show you that I love you more than life?”  

Christ´s “I LOVE YOU” from the cross was breath-taking not because it was spoken or written, but because it knew no bounds…it was lived, it was shown, it was embodied, and it was willing to die.

His love was beyond words—a Word made flesh. A passion deeper than anything I´ve ever read or heard—a timeless emotion. I don´t mind wordless moments on my knees anymore. I´m beginning to learn the beauty of immersing oneself in God´s silences. God communicates volumes in the absence of speech. His silences brim over with unspeakable love.

The lyrics keep coming to mind, “It´s amazing the way you speak right to my heart. Without saying a word you can light up the dark.” The wordless “I love you” that reaches to me across centuries speaks loudly to my heart. I almost feel like crying. My Savior rushes to my side and His face lights up the dark inside of me. It is so warming to know that you are loved. I spend the day wishing that everyone in the world would receive the message radiating from His cross.  

"...the earth is full of His Unfailing Love." Psalm 33:5

Hold Him Carefully

It´s possible I over-think issues sometimes. But when you´re a still-life actor in a live Nativity scene and have to stay frozen in position for half an hour or so, it´s an ideal time for your mind to wander deep into thought.

 

I sat there last night with my glance cast downward to a Baby Jesus doll nestled in my arms. In my scene, two wise men looked on while Joseph stood at my side. I began to wonder what it might have been like to hold Jesus this close, close to my heart. I tried to imagine what it might have been like to be the first one, the first one to peer into the eyes of God´s own Son who was also my own newborn son.

Her gaze must have emanated the rapture and glow of new mothers. This warm bundle of humanity was hers to love. Mary´s joy-filled heart did not fully know what her hands held—the only true Hope for her and the rest of the world. But she knew this baby was a treasure of utmost value. She knew she must hold Him carefully. 

It took a split moment for me to recognize—I hold that same baby´s heart in MY hands. He was born of Mary, but He came to give HIMSELF to each of us. His pierced and now resurrected heart throbs for love of me. He trusts that His sacrifice was not in vain. He hopes that we will accept His warm gift and hold His heart carefully. 

How closely do I clasp Jesus in my arms? How careful am I to never let Him go?

Although we would be horrified to see Mary dropping Baby Jesus or leaving Him abandoned on the straw, we break His heart and forget Him without even a shiver. We let Him slip lower and lower on our priority list. Sin and darkness take any opportunity to snatch Him away from us. We chase after life—work, entertainment, friends, final exams, charitable activities, our dreams—and, most likely, somewhere along the way we have let Jesus´ heart crash to the ground. Perhaps we´ve returned to pick up that heart, with words of apology…but we have so many other things we are trying to hold on to that He is in constant danger of being dropped again.

Dear friends, let everything else go to discover the treasure who is Jesus. Let not negligence or distractions steal Him from your arms. An ongoing encounter with His passionate warmth is all that matters. He is no longer a fragile infant, but His heart is still strikingly vulnerable. So when He entrusts to you His heart of love, hold Him carefully.

What If I Gave All?

The Son looking into His Father´s concerned eyes asks, “What if I gave all?”

“Yes,” the Father replies with a catch in His tone, “A gift like that would change the world.”

I don´t quite know why a song at a benefit concert melts me deep within. No one else seems heavily affected by it. But the idea latches onto my heart because it sounds so familiar. It´s a thought that's periodically shaken me during the past two months. It´s a question that sends shivers of joy and possibility through the courts of heaven—what if someone gave all?

A true heart encounter with God´s love invades us with a devotion that dares to ask, “What if I gave all? What if this incredible love of God drives me to offer up all? What if my Jesus expects me to expend my life´s blood as He did—giving all?” These questions bring us to the brink of truly loving because LOVE in its pure essence is WILLINGLY GIVING ALL FOR ANOTHER´S BENEFIT.  

A conviction has begun to beat in my soul, the conviction that God´s people must experience God´s love at a real and astounding level before they can be empowered to do the “greater things” that Jesus promised. A human soul inundated with divine love is only possible when everything else is given away, when nothing is held back from the Creator.  

I want to follow the way of love, the way of sacrifice. I want to place all my earthly treasures on the altar and gain the One True Eternal Treasure—God.  I see this as the only way to not be pretend. I can´t stand my empty and superficial ways of loving and giving. But I don´t know what it means...to give all.  

What does “giving all” mean when I get up off my knees? What does “giving all” mean as I step out my front door and head to work? What does “giving all” mean while I exchange words with friends and strangers? What does “giving all” mean when I make important life decisions? 

I search Jesus´ life for glimpses of what “giving all” meant to Him on the smallest scale of daily life. I am assured that the answers will come as I keep my eyes fixed on the face of Love. The question cannot stay in the back of my mind. I cannot let it slip away. I need this possibility to taunt me and tantalize me constantly. Someone, somewhere, must persist long enough to discover what it means to give ALL and it will be a priceless, pristine, and packed reflection of Divine Love. It WILL change the world.  

“…walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath GIVEN HIMSELF for us…” Ephesians 5:2

Ocean's Call

What´s the greatest gift you´ve ever received? The biggest? The costliest? The most memorable? What about the most incomprehensible?
 

What if someone gave you an Ocean?  A private Ocean just for you. What would you do with it? Perhaps you would excitedly stroll along the beach, run barefoot in the sand, play happily in the surf, and be in awe over its vast expanse. “Really?” you ask as you gaze to where the ocean meets the horizon and merges into the sky, “This is all mine? This extravagant, limitless amount of water is all for me?” You inhale the sea breeze deeply and can´t exactly wrap your mind around what´s yours. 

What would you do with it? If you´re a curious type perhaps you´ll take a boat and sail away, determined to explore the immensity before you. But imagine there´s a problem…you refuse to dive in. You avoid getting too wet. You fear being submerged. You are anxious about sinking too deep. The unknown, the incomprehensible, seems a bit risky. So you stick to the shore, you contentedly sail on the surface.

God´s love for you IS your private ocean, but you´ve never encountered it deeply. You have never lost yourself in His infinite love, because you´ve never jumped in unafraid.  

While God is wanting the undertow to sweep us off our feet and pull us into the ocean´s depths, while God is longing to capsize our boat and soak us completely in the salty waters…we have spent our lives playing in the waves and floating untouched on its surface. God´s love is an Ocean and it has belonged to us from ages past and into eternity. We´ve known about and touched it. Maybe we´ve even tasted it and preached about it, but in all honesty we don´t know what to do with it. We don´t know how to let it invade us and captivate our souls. We don´t know how to let it overtake us, sink us, and completely transform us.

“Behold, what manner of LOVE the Father hath bestowed upon us…” It is a fathomless, pristine, and perfectly true LOVE that “casts out fear.” (I John 3:1, 4:18)

 

Trust Matters

A look of expectancy in their eyes always sparks a throb of compassion within me.  Even on hardened, tattooed faces I read the unspoken plea in their expression—“Please. Please trust me. Trust me one more time.”

Laws have been disregarded. People have been hurt. Accusations of broken trust, some valid and others unfounded, fill the hallways. It´s another day in court. The orange-clad inmate stands awaiting the judge´s decision…release on his own recognizance (a defendant´s promise to return to court) or continued detention. And it all comes down to trust. Does the judge trust him enough to release him back into society? Does his behavior warrant a second chance? Can he be trusted to keep his promise, trusted with freedom?

The reality of the legal system contrasts with my friend´s words, “Yeah, don´t. Don´t trust me. I´ll disappoint you again. I don´t want you to trust me ´cause at some point I´ll fail and hurt you.”

I was momentarily quiet and then swallowed before replying, “Well, I´ll trust you anyways because I love you and I know you´re trying.”

Love changes the whole picture. Unlike the judge who objectively considers the legal case of a stranger, I saw that God´s personal love for me does not deliberate over His decision. He recklessly forgives and then amazingly trusts me again…all because He unceasingly loves. His forgiveness sets me free from my past; His trust in my potential calls me to new life.

Like my friend, I fear being trusted. I mentally want to run not from God´s love but from the weight of trust—the trust that a love relationship with God implies. I know I cannot fulfill the expectations of a perfect God. I would break His trust, bruise His heart, and fall short.    

It was when I imagined the inmate´s handcuffs being unlocked that I realized the power of trust. If I didn´t let God trust me, I would stay shackled to this earth, stuck in my inability to obey. God´s trust in us makes victory possible. His bold trust in me means my freedom.  He knows. He knows that trusting me sets me free to disappoint Him. But He knows that it also enables me to bring abounding satisfaction to His existence. His confidence in my “ability” brings me to my knees seeking continual help and strength.  

You see, being trusted by someone who loves you sets you free to disappoint, but it also sets you free to succeed. Free to fall, but also free to attain new heights in the power of Jesus Christ. Trust places intimidating expectations upon us, but they are expectations that call us to be more than we ever imagined.

So, when God tells you “I trust you,” it means He loves you and is setting you free.