I don´t mind that our courtship has been rather unusual (or yes, super weird in many people´s eyes)! I don´t mind because it has been more wonderful and sweet than any experience I could have ever tried to imagine. As I look back, I have to smile at some of our early journey together. Here is an excerpt from almost a year ago...February 2015...
It wasn´t something we consciously discussed. Neither of
us ever formally agreed to not utter the expression “I love you” to the other. We just knew. I knew that he wasn´t planning to say it soon and he
knew the same about me.
This unique and slightly comical aspect of our relationship
was made more obvious to me the day Joshua looked up from his homework and said
slowly, “I really like you, Ariana.” Struck as I often am by his sweetness, I
unhesitatingly smiled and replied, “I truly like you too, Joshua.” A strange
smile took over his face as he noted, “So I guess we´re falling in like with
each other.”
As it stands, we are nearing six months of the most special
courtship ever and no, we haven´t directly used the word “Love” to describe our
feelings toward each other.
Our reasoning is rather simple. In short, we are saving the phrase “I love you” much like one would save a kiss. Not because the words (or the kiss) are wrong. To the contrary, they are so especially beautiful that we want to be sure we understand their true meaning. We are not afraid of the word but we do revere it.
Our reasoning is rather simple. In short, we are saving the phrase “I love you” much like one would save a kiss. Not because the words (or the kiss) are wrong. To the contrary, they are so especially beautiful that we want to be sure we understand their true meaning. We are not afraid of the word but we do revere it.
Sixteen months ago something happened to us. We realized
that we had underestimated Love—God´s Love. We had no idea how to truly Love
our God. Our discussions concerning how much we lacked a basic understanding of
the Universe's greatest power—the active Love of our Creator—filled many a
Facebook message. We developed a new respect for the word that God Himself uses
to describe His essence. We became aware of how rashly we had declared our love
for God in the past. We even took to capitalizing “Love” in all our
correspondence to commemorate our conviction.
To be genuinely in Love is an experience that the Creator of the
Universe must gift two hearts with. To be genuinely in Love is to be touched
and filled by God Himself.
It is possible to be precipitous and presumptuous with a
word that is supposed to mean everything self-sacrificing, unending, strong and
pure. And thus, Joshua and I will save our “I love you” until the time God impresses
us to calmly and confidently declare His closeness to our hearts. For now, we
are quite delighted to be falling in like.
P.S. The perfect time turned out to be August 29, 2015 when Joshua couldn´t hold back the words "I Love you" any longer and proposed to me atop our special bridge!
