I do not readily understand why, why me, why now. I see glimmers of heavenly reasoning, but I don´t see the big picture. I stifle my human need for explanation. It is not God´s purpose for me to fully know; His desire is for me to fully accept. The weight within keeps me from seeing very far ahead and sometimes blocks out the sun completely.
But I refuse to let go…I don´t even think of escaping. The simple thought of losing this burden devastates me. I cling to it because the One who placed it on me is also helping me bear it, and I cannot risk losing that closeness to Him. When I only see darkness, He knows where I´m at. When it seems too heavy, my weakness makes Him stronger. In my overwhelmed existence, new dimensions of God´s character reveal themselves. The feeling of being near such Divine beauty causes everything else to fade. I would not trade such an experience. The experience brought on by this burden propels me along some invisible path. Almost like the burden itself has wings and is carrying me home, deeper into my Father´s heart.
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”